Beans3bk’s Weblog

What do you say? I am still good folks, I realize the less drama I have the less emotion I need to write about. I know God is doing big things in my life. I am excited for what is coming to pass. Have you ever been in a situation where you were blessed on all fronts? Not that I deserve it, but he is seriously giving me a new focus and a new heart. Last night I was just laying there thinking about all he has done and the ways he has made for me. I am just so happy that he is keeping me. I am at peace. I also learned that if you keep people out of your business there will be nothing for them to talk about. Well they are still buzzing but they have nothing concrete because I am not announcing it all on the news. Duh, beans, I know. I have learned that when people see an ounce of space to drive a wedge through something they will. I have learned that women will do any and everything they can to get a man. I learned that how you get that man will be the same way you can lose him if you manipulated the process and done things out of order. I learned that everybody don’t like me and I have learned not to care. I am who I am. I am a people person and I see that I will always have an audience and instead of standing on stage putting on a show I need to just fall back and let them watch a blank screen. They will eventually get bored and go to another theater. Lol. I swear I crack myself up. Here lately all too often I hear about people saying this or that about me but the crazy thing is none of them really even know me. They know the star, lol, but they don’t know the quiet person that likes to sit home in my jammies and watch documentaries all day. I have learned that even though people claim to be your friend they may really just sitting back waiting for a minute of vulnerability so they can latch on and place themselves in a position where they know they don’t belong. I have learned to forgive and move forward. It took me a long time to do that but I was mad and blocking my blessings carrying around anger for things I couldn’t control. I am calm. Yes, me, calm. I have scaled back some of the things I used to do. Sometimes when you get my age you realize that nothing does matter and all that image and ego takes a back seat to just being a mom or a mate. I know that God has allowed me to focus on him and no distractions allow you to get closer to him. So as I walk in this victory, I realize, the race is not given to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but to the one that endures till the end. I am out, be blessed