I am locking my screen door September 9, 2009

Well where do I begin, I think I have to be very specific how I put all this into words in order for God to get the true glory he deserves. I haven’t blogged in a few days because I have been wrestling with a lot of things. I believe in the power of prayer and I know what God can do that is the only reason I am sitting here today. I don’t take any of this lightly because he doesn’t owe me anything and all that he does is above and beyond so I am so grateful. As the people that read my blog often, I am a single mother of three, growing in God, working a full time job and going to school at night to finish up my degree. I know people all have an opinion about me having kids with no husband I answer to God and God alone. I learned a long time ago not to let others hurt my feelings by what they say because the ones that talk about you the most are the ones that would love to be in our place. Let’s just keep it real if you didn’t spend your time trying to crucify me you would have nothing else to say because you have no life and no matter how you put it and act like it is all that it can’t be because negativity constantly from an individual shows that they have serious issues. But back to my story. My father has cancer and it is bad. I am grateful to God for mending our relationship and allowing us to heal so we can enjoy the time we have left together. He is in good spirits and I am so happy to have him here everyday that God extends his life. He doesn’t have to but he does and I am so glad about it. I am learning to lean on God more as my source. Everyday is a challenge trying to make proper decisions for my family. There is a lot at stake here. There are many decisions that need to be made and steps that need to be taken in order for things to flow like they should. The closer I get to him the more he reveals to me and allows me to see individuals for who they really are. I noticed that if you just sit back and watch it is amazing how you can see the character of individuals show through. I have learned to be quiet and observe. I always say just because I don’t speak on something doesn’t mean I am not aware of it; I just choose to let people continue to show their true colors. I have decided to let them make decisions and once they are made make sure they keep to them. I can remember my Grandma saying as a child’ There will be no running in and out”. I am on that you go out; you stay out, friends and family. I have locked my screen door and those on the inside will stay in and those on the outside will just have to stay out. No coming in for a cookie, or restroom break.lol. My cousins will appreciate that one. I have learned that everybody you want in your life may not need to be there and everybody that tries to play with you may not want to play fair. This is all so simple things I learned at 6 and 7 but they are so parallel to what is going on in my life right now. I will continue to pray for guidance and healing in my life and the lives of all those I come in contact with and I am praying that God remove the bitterness from the hearts of people that don’t like me because 9 times out of 10. I haven’t done anything wrong to them. Well through it all God is still good. I am out be blessed!!