Ego July 31, 2009

Today is a good day, is it perfect no but it could always be worst. I have had a busy week and tonight is the final night of our church conference so I am going to that. As I look at myself and the people around me I see so many things. I have to wonder why some people are so angry. Why are they upset with me? I haven’t done any dirt in such a long time. Yet my name keeps coming up in people’s mouth, why? I have no man, I definitely don’t have theirs. Lol That was some of the old me. But for some odd reason people want to get at beans. If you could hear some of the stuff I heard about me you would be like Wow, she get down like that. Here I am for over a year and a half, been out of the club scene. I was in a relationship so I was under the radar, so I thought. But that is another post. This is a small city but word travels fast. I drive a mini van people!!!! I take kids around all weekend. All week too. I have no time to be worried about folks but folks sure can worry about me. Oh well I guess that lets me know I am still on the top of my game. The nerd game. I am such a nerd. I love documentaries. Is that somebody people should be wasting energy on,huh? But what I was saying is that I think I know why. The kids were watching videos and I normally don’t but Ego, by Beyonce came on. So I took a peek. I love this song, I know it is not a Christian woman’s theme song but I am a work in progress. I love her confidence. She says I walk like this but I can back up. I feel that. I am a confidant individual; I guess I do have a big ego. Not that I think I am better or this or that, but I am not sitting in a corner waiting on someone to notice me. I don’t need a man, never had problems getting one but I am doing the darn thing by myself. With God of course but I ride life until the wheels fall off. My kids are all that and a bag of chips and when you see them they are fresh. I got a big ego, and I talk like that because I can back it up. LOL This is so not a religious song but at the same time I can do all things through Christ and he allows for me to feel good about myself because he takes care of me. I don’t need anyone or anything else because his grace is sufficient. I am laughing now because I know my cousin who is a biblical scholar is going to eat this up but I don’t care. I can interpret God’s love for me any way I like. I am so focused on working for him, the rest of the mess and the haters can kick rocks. I still love them but they are off my radar. I know you see me, but I don’t even know you exist. I will continue to walk and talk how I please until God does different, I am out, be blessed.