As I sit by the well July 14, 2009

I know he won’t put more on me than I can bear, as I keep going he works things out for my good. I feel like the deck is stacked against me at times but I know what I am and what I am required to do so I press on. Each day gets easier, the vision is clearer. I have so much inside that I need to get out, but yet I dare not let it out because I had to learn the hard way that everybody don’t want to see you happy. Nobody knows all that you go through on a day to day so they may not necessarily understand all your decisions. I have to believe that time changes and people change. I have to believe that God does what he does and moves in different situations as he sees fit in order for us to recognize who he is and allow him to receive the glory. Through out the last six weeks I am learning and growing and respecting him on another level. Keeping it real, I thought I was going to lose my mind at one point. But he kept me and allowed me to make sound decisions so I would be ok while the storm was going through my life. It’s over now. Well that storm anyway. I am still standing and after all that has happened I am a better woman for it. The things I done and the changes that I made were for me. My pastor was talking about this Sunday, a sacrifice of praise. When you are in the midst of the hardest most painful time in your life and you still praise God I am sure he makes note of that. When people were laughing and talking about how I was this or that I just kept on praying for deliverance and I am sitting here today only because of God. My mind would race I would think of all kinds of things but he just kept telling me to be still. Calm down beans. Flesh is exactly what it is weak. I brought you out of darkness and if you just calm down I will bring you out of this and sure enough I made it. The thought that I was getting some of what I deserved never crossed my mind until it was over and I realized all the things I did. It is water under the bridge. I am so content with where I am right now. The entire situation could have gone down a completely different way, better or worst. I said all that to say, people don’t make me happy. They are going to do what they will do. I don’t build hopes on them because they will fail. I have failed people so I know but out of all I do or don’t know God will see you through. Even last night I was trying to wrestle with something, I had to just turn it over to the Lord. As I praise him in the good times, I must praise him in the bad. He has never failed me. I have never gone without anything. He keeps a ram in the bush for me and my children. The food or money gets low but I trust that he will make a way and supply the needs for my family. So I may have been the women at the well, who had basically been around the block and was living with a man that wasn’t even her husband, but like her. Jesus gave her some living water and after receiving it she brought others back. That’s how I feel no matter what I have done, he has blessed me and I want others to know that in spite of what they done he will bless them too. This is all apart of my testimony. I am out, be blessed