Dear Diary,
Lol, just kidding but I am feeling that. The more I grow, the stronger, I get and the better I feel. Each day is a new one. I am tuning more into my children even more. We had a family meeting yesterday and I gave them their chore list. They were like you really want us to do this, I was like “Don’t do and see what happens”. In the evenings I am accomplishing a lot, still haven’t found a hobby but I got enough housework to keep me busy. The kids are loving vacation bible school, so I am happy for them. I am also organizing our drill team competition so that is keeping me busy. I am not ready to date. I gotta get pass this patch. I prefer to go for a season with nothing. Some people think just because I got out of a relationship that I was committed to since it is over, I am ready to kick it. I can’t step back out there like that. Truth be told I am not even ready for friends. If I have male friends, there is always a chance of it leading in to something else. Trust me I know. So I won’t go there either. I am at an incubation stage. I just need to stay in the warmer until; I get big enough to survive on the outside myself. I realized that emotionally I am so off the mark for normal, that’s just real. I feel like every man I ever trusted has lied to me. If I have this mind state and know it. I will be no good for anyone. I keep telling myself, slow down, decline. Fools rush in. You are smarter than that. You rushed into your last relationship. Take your time. Feel things out. Let Jesus lead you. So I keep everything to a minimum. I will slowly find time to socialize. Right now I need to complete this course and grow closer to God. In the back of my church they had this article about relationships. It clearly stated two unequally yoked people should not be together, they won’t prosper. If Christians are together there are things they should be doing like building a spiritual relationship together with Christ. Praying and growing in God together. I never done that. But experience is a good teacher and I am so committed to doing things right I am making a note of that. It also said that you should be able to view your mates Christianity and be able to see what they are about. I think talk is so cheap. The fact that God is in your life it should be evident so you shouldn’t even have to speak on it. I got more to say, but I gotta go, may be back later, I am out. Be blessed.
beans3bk
