Lately I have been blogging twice, I have been doing some soul searching and come to the realization that some people just get on my nerves. I share an office with five other people, I sit in the corner, they can’t see me but I hear them and they are driving me crazy. We have so many differences. I really need to hurry up and get a degree so I can get out of here; I feel so stagnate, I feel like I am just wasting away. I have to make myself speak to them because they get on my nerves, but I love them because beans love everyone. All they do is talk about food and dieting. There is nothing worst than a food obsessed person on a diet. I get sick of them talking about their points and their diets, but they are always ordering up a bunch of food. Please tell me how many weight watchers’ points are 3 cheese coneys with onion, large cheese fries, and diet coke. I am sure that is your entire points for a week. Then after all that why would you order a diet pop. I just want to be like, LOOK YOU ARE NOT ON A DIET. You are eat everything that comes your way; I am scared to take you to the farm because you might just bite a cow. Lol I know that is wrong but they are driving me up a wall. They made me mad because they went and got lunch today, without me and initially I wanted to clock but as I previously stated, I am not arguing with people so I let it just roll off. Now it is nothing for me to go pick up everybody lunch and they had the nerve to not even ask me did I want some, these people will starve because I am not getting anything for anybody. I sit here and listen to them talk to each other and this one calls me girlfriend. Do you believe that, Girlfriend. Now I make more money than her and I am going to college and she has the nerve to call me Girlfriend. I don’t respond, but I think she doesn’t even realize how demeaning her conversation is to me. I am a professional, I was recruited for this job and she thinks she has the right to call me girlfriend. Some of them are nice but there are so many barriers. One day they had the nerve to ask me if I knew of a family that they could adopt for a Christmas basket, i.e., I guess they think I do. I just laugh, idiocity doesn’t even offend me. I think about it because my children want for nothing, yes I am single but that is basically by choice. I am praying for a door. I have got to get away from these people before I clock. This Girlfriend is out. lol
No More people pleasing October 27, 2008
This morning, I am ok, a lot of things are going on and I am just trying to take it all in, I am still so blessed beyond measure. God is so good; he is working so many things out for my good. I am in a state of calmness. I refuse to argue, I haven’t argued with anybody in an entire week. I am just not moved, I will not allow others to dictate my happiness and the funny thing is that until I thought about it, that is all that I really have been doing for years. We had a speaker yesterday at church, she was talking about being a people pleaser, and I realized that’s all I had been doing my entire life. Negating my own happiness for the happiness of others. And I know that is wrong but I felt that at least that made me happy to make them happy, but in the end they aren’t happy, they complain and I feel worst off then when I started so from here on out, beans won’t be doing that. If I make you happy fine, good for you but if I don’t sorry to hear it because I will not be conforming for anyone. My children are a prime example. I was so tired when I got home from church, they know how to entertain themselves, yet they wanted to keep bothering me. I told them look, I have taken you to church, we did things yesterday, Find yourselves something to do that do not include me. I shut my room door and took a nap. I woke up refreshed. Before I would have just been tired, and took them somewhere or came up with them something to do. Slowly but surely I am learning. Besides my nap yesterday there was not too much more really exciting. I went over my baby’s we watched a movie and played scrabble. It was cool. My life is so much different than it used to be. I remember going places and doing things. I have decided to establish me some me days, not sure if it will be once or twice a month, but there are things that I like to do and I never get to do them, so when I get that going, I’ll let you know. I am glad this semester is almost over at school, I need a mental break also. I am ready for Christmas, I began shopping this weekend. Being Santa is a serious job anyway. I know my two oldest really don’t believe in Santa but my youngest still does and I want him to as long as he can but when he doesn’t Christmas in my house will be different. Look as long as you believe Santa you get what you ask for because that’s what Santa does, but once you stop believing and know the stuff comes from me, you can forget it because I am your mama and you know I am broke, hahahaha.
Well that’s about if for beans today, nothing too deep today. I am still pressing and reflecting. Still in “No Weapon” mode. Just trying to serve God and take care of my family. Be blessed!!!
beans3bk
