As you all know I normally don’t blog twice but this afternoon, I have been working things out with my baby, we just haven’t been seeing eye to eye lately. The closer we get to where we need to be, the more trials come on. But I need to make this statement to any reader that comes to the land of bean, I love my man. He is good, kind, sweet, and gentle. I think because I have been doing so much working on me that I forgot to let you know that he is the man. The relationship is filled with bumps and road blocks. However we will persevere. He came over last night and we just held each other. Not to say we don’t do things we shouldn’t but last night. We were both drained. We held each other and slept. We cry together. He is macho so he will never admit it, but he has a lot of pain, I am here to help him heal. God makes no mistakes and he had our paths cross for a reason. He knows my heart, he fills my soul. I think I will forever be change by the love that we share. Our relationship is like the perfect Storm. I love him, he knows it. If he would ever read my blog he would know that, but you know how men are. Be Blessed
Build your hopes on things eternal October 23, 2008
Today, I have some serious issues. I am going through some things trying to sort out some of my issues. I have come too far to turn back now. I have been praying for revelation and clarity. The problem with this is that I can’t decipher if God is trying to reveal things to me or if the devil is in my midst having a heyday. I have learned a few things about myself in the last few days. Truthfully I already knew but now it’s much clearer. I think I have got to find happiness within myself before I can concern myself with making others happy. You can’t please everybody all the time, yet I find myself doing it on a daily basis. I try to please them, go above and beyond; it’s still not good enough then I feel like crap in the end. I will no longer do that. I can’t get mad if people mistreat me especially if I allow them to. I have been a doormat for years, but it ends today. Will a lot of things happen that will probably change my life, maybe so? But from here on out, I am living for me. I will not be mean but I will be asserting myself. If I don’t like something no matter who it is, they will know that I don’t like it. I believe the Lord is revealing this to me for a reason. There has to be some reason for me to get to this point. I live my life in a constant state of urgency, everything is now. I have an anxious feeling about everything, not sure why but I must have and hold all that I want. I look at my relationship and I really don’t know what to say. I am in prayer about the entire situation. I will leave it at that. My children need structure, so I am going to do a few things before they go back to school to get them where they need to be. My family,I am praying for them also, there are a lot of issues that each of us deal with but are never addressed but I know God will work things out for each of us.
I am still stuck on that Marvin Sapp; I was driving into work this morning, just sobbing because even though it’s rough now it was so much worst before. So I will praise him in advance for what he is going to do in my life. Still pressing. A thought came to me. “Build your hopes on things eternal”.
As a human, you have so many dreams and aspirations because you want things to be nice and you want things to be better, but in reality the only person we know for a fact we can depend on is God. He is the only constant in a changing world. Man will fail you but God never fails. So my question to you today is this. “What are your hopes built on?”
I’m out, Be Blessed
beans3bk
