He won’t give up on you!!!! October 6, 2008

Beans doesn’t even know where to begin. I am just so blessed. Blessed in the city and blessed in the fields, blessed when I come and when I go!!!!! God has been just so good to me. I was busy the entire weekend and but I made it. Friday when I got off I had a bunch to do Saturday I ran and Yesterday I had a birthday party for my children it was really nice. I look at my children and I am just so blessed. We have come a long way, God has sustained us. I can remember when they were little and I would try so hard to provide for them and I just struggled so bad trying to keep the essentials they needed. I can remember diapers, wipes, and milk. I bought so much of that stuff I thought I was going to go crazy, I can remember running out of diapers for one and having to put them on somebody else’s because at one time, they wore 3 different sizes. I would stay up all night trying to see about them I can remember us all being in the bed together, it took everything I had to keep it together. As I type this I am in tears because it just used to be so hard. There would be days when I just felt like throwing in the towel. Now I didn’t put this out here for a pity party but it needed to be known there is so much victory in my testimony. God has done so many things in my life. Yesterday at church the sung a song I think it was called “He’s Able”. The lyrics said something like “Don’t give up on God because he won’t give up on you”. Just keeping it real, I hear that and I am like Damn. But that’s it he won’t give up on you. And like I said I remember when I didn’t even have clothes to wear trying to take care of my babies by myself. No help from the government or their father, I paid 1/3 of my salary in Daycare because I didn’t want them to go somewhere where people would mistreat them so my babysitter kept them at a discounted rate but it was still more than I could afford. I kept going to church and kept praying. And he kept making a way. Now look at them, they are so big. It’s like I said I have a serious testimony. I just thank God for being in my life. I think of my kids father and I just have washed my hands of the situation. They deserve better than how he treats them, but like I always say there is a ram in the bush because God has sent me a man that will love and cherish my children like his own, so I am not moved by his actions. That is just more to my testimony. I love God so much for allowing me to be with such a loving man. I had given up on love. I was like I’ll be fine, I’ll raise my kids, when they grow up, I’ll travel. But he gave me love and now I don’t have to be alone. Be Blessed