Compromise

Hey All,

Today is a weird day, still having allergy issues, but have you ever woke up and thought, I really just don’t want to be bothered. Period. I have no serious issues but I really just don’t feel like dealing with crap. I am sleepy; I need just a complete rest. I am busy all the time but I just want to be able to just sleep. In an ideal day I want to just wake up when I am fully rested. I went to bed late last night, got up early this morning. I am really rambling today, but oh well. I haven’t had any coffee yet either.

I was trying to decide what I was going to talk about today and nothing really sticks out. I could talk about my baby, but his infamous attitude reared its ugly head this morning, so I really don’t feel like singing his praises. Lol I guess I shouldn’t say that, but dealing with a relationship requires a lot of patience. Beans has no patience. I like instant gratification. I don’t like to debate things. I am from the old school of My way or the Highway. Lol. Compromise is new to me. I am not used to listening to what other people think because previous to now I never cared what anyone else thought or said other than myself. But this new love thing kinda has me twisted. I am just not in control like I normally would be. I don’t know why he won’t just do what I tell him, how I tell him. He wants to do what he wants to do. Do I want a trained puppy no, but some days I really don’t want to be bothered with a pit bull. Anywho, back to my question of the day. How do I keep from telling this man to kiss my @ss?. Lol Just playing but how do I deal with not getting my way all the time? Nine times out of ten he usually right but I still want things done my way. Compromise is hard when you aren’t compromising with anybody other than yourself. lol

I don’t know what I want to say……

Look, I am very upset because nobody commented on my blog yesterday. Was it too intense for yall? If you visited my blog you should have had at least enough manners to say something. lol Just kidding,

 Today I am in a silly mood my allergies are killing me. I must admit all is well in Beanland. hahaha.

My kids made me so mad yesterday; I thought smoke was going to come out of my ears. They are spoiled rotten; they don’t listen until I literally go off on them. They are really good at playing the roll though. People at church and school always talk about how mannerable they are. They know if they embarrass me I will really act a fool. I laugh when I think about them because they are 6,7,and 8. But really they are grown. I watch them function and do some of the craziest things. They always want company to come over but I can’t stand extra kids so that never happens. I know it sounds mean but when you have three kids I can’t imagine getting extra kids to get on your nerves too. I laugh because they know I am not well and I know they hide from me at times because they like you don’t want to hear my mouth. If you didn’t know me you’d probably think I was a real B. hahaha. The funny part is I am so funny at times I laugh at myself. It will be times I say stuff and be like dang that was funny. I wonder if I could be a stand up comedian or comedy writer at times because I really do have some good material.

I am really talking about nothing today. My boo, (that’s funny, because he is a grown  @ss man) his attitude is good. We have such fun together. I know he hides from me too. I think my mouth bothers him at times too but he won’t tell me because he don’t want to hear my mouth. I have really found my soul mate in this man. This is real, have you ever felt so complete before and then meet somebody that truly completes you? I was good all by myself but he truly makes me better. I know it sounds like a ghetto theme to have but he truly makes me better. I know yall all like she is so in love and whipped but what more can I say than ……. it is what it is. This love is not just physical, but emotionally and mentally we just match. For years I dated men that couldn’t put a sentence together. Hey I know it’s funny now, but to actually be able to debate about something other than rap music is a joy. I am rambling but oh well. I will probably be back later today. Right now I need coffee

I’ve got it !!!!

Today is going to be a long day, I am tired I was up all night trying to get my grown up on drinking wine and talking to my baby. Last night we really accomplished alot. We both have issues with our fathers. He gave me alot of insight on how I should deal with my dad and I have come to the conclusion that alot of my pain and anger actually stems from the relationship he and I had.  The pain I feel about the lack of love or should I say attention has carried into my own relationships and for some reason I am very resentful towards men. I don’t trust them like I should because I never could trust him. As I get older and have a closer relationship with God I realize everything that has happened to me in the past had to happen in order for me to be exactly where I am today. No it is not OK that he was too drunk to present me at the Debutante Ball, but I realized and was shown that my loving cousin was man enough to be the man he wasn’t. M y mom has always and still to this day made excuses for my dad, not sure why but she did. I am rambling and I gotta lot to do, but I have had an epiphany. I finally know where the initial pain came from. Step one. In time I will figure out how to solve the rest of my issues, but for now I at least recognize one of them.

Busy as a B…. lol

I am on my way to do a million things, for a million people in a hour. lol

 

Why?

Ok, I guess, I am a posting fool today, but I have just one question. Why do men have such attitudes at times? I love my boyfriend with all my heart and there is a serious story behind our relationship. I can’t divulge it now but it is a lifetime movie forreal, anywho, he is so loving and giving and at times he can really rub me the wrong way. Not so much where I will walk away, but it drives me crazy. lol If he reads this he will probably have an attitude again but oh well. They get mad and while they are mad they think you should care. Does this happen to anybody else?

Can a sista get a break…………

OK, here it is I am not a blogger, I’ve never done this before but after being on someone else’s blog, I decided to do my own. My goal for this is just self expression. I am busy. I have a full-time job, 3 kids, I go to college, I am about to begin working on my medical consulting firm, I am the president of my kids drill and drum corp., I sing on the praise team at the church. Next week is Vacation Bible School and I, me, am in charge of the food, dinner mind you for over a 100 people, I don’t even cook, but anyway, I have organized a trip for 30 people including kids to go to Chicago next Friday. Tonight my kids perform at 6 I have over 40 uniforms in my van right now that need to be washed for a competition Saturday morning. I get off at 5 I need to go buy my daughter a new pair of sneakers to perform in, pick up my kids, take them to the center and be there by six. I also need to pick up socks for all the girls and of course no one has given me a dime. Oh, I gotta go get water and snacks for Saturday for the team. After competition, I have to go to a graduation party and then on to another choir rehearsal. Sunday at 2 my kids are performing at the art gallery, I am tired can anybody feel me?

Wow

I am busy as can be so I really am not sure why I am doing this but it was something somebody hipped me to so I will try it. I really at this moment have nothing profound to say, but hey, I’m here and I will find something of interest to bring to the table.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!